Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Is no wanting more right?

/

M’s conversations lately are steering towards an emotional bond of sorts. I can understand it, we’ve been basically together every day for the last month and a half.




I’m glad she came into my life at the right time, in this voidness my current life seems to be stagnant she keeps me sane. It’s hard for me to explain her what’s going on, why I look so cold, I’m in a numb phase, product of past months changes I still can’t grasp fully.




I feel uprooted, out of place, only when I’m with her or within her I feel safe.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Last time I'm 192lb

/

I’m 6 pounds lighter since the last time I weight myself. Ironically I can’t see where all the extra-weight is!! I had lose my belly!! maybe is muscle! :-P

Unable to do this...

I only did once and I really didn’t like it at all hahaha, too much feelings on it. I guess that’s good but I should choose a better way.




I’m going to get some mud to start modeling again.

Anxiety

It seems is not high pressure after all. Is just an anxiety attack produced by the self-inflicted highwire state in my brain.




That’s cool, I was targeting the wrong maladie.

Anxiety

I’m wondering…




Anyways, I scheduled a full check for next year. I took salt out of my kitchen, reduced the alcohol intake to two beers or one glass of wine and I’m trying to excercise more.




However I’m wondering if it’s just not a case of Anxiety induced by stress. Since I’ve noted that once I get distracted of my wild running heart it goes back to normal, as soon as I do remember the running starts again.




I’ll better carry some anxiety pills with me.

This is the list and the ones I'd read.

Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou READED
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier READED




The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain READED




Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck READED




Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling READED




Forever by Judy Blume
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger READED




The Giver by Lois Lowry
It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
The Color Purple by Alice Walker READED




Sex by Madonna READED




Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle READED




Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
The Goats by Brock Cole
Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
Blubber by Judy Blume
Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
Final Exit by Derek Humphry
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee READED




Beloved by Toni Morrison READED




The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton READED
The Pigman by Paul Zindel READED
Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
Deenie by Judy Blume
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes READED




Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley READED




Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice) READED




Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
Cujo by Stephen King READED




James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl READED
The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell READED




Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
Ordinary People by Judith Guest READED
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis READED




What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume READED
Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
Fade by Robert Cormier READED
Guess What? by Mem Fox
The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende READED




The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut READED




Lord of the Flies by William Golding READED




Native Son by Richard Wright READED
Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday
Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Jack by A.M. Homes
Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya READED
Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
Carrie by Stephen King READED




Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
Family Secrets by Norma Klein
Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
The Dead Zone by Stephen King READED




The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain READED




Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
Private Parts by Howard Stern READED




Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford
Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett READED




Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
Sex Education by Jenny Davis
The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts READED
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

Be Content... Be Content...Be Content

/

My proposed mantra for 2006.

Good morning sunshine...

/

Sometimes I forget to be compasive with myself. Sometimes I feel despair, sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with people, sometimes I sigh, and take a deep breath, sometimes I just feel sad and then, someone somewhere does an unnoticed good deed, somewhere a child laughs and smiles, somewhere an old couple support each other while they walk, compassion, innocence,love, and I regain my hope, my strenght, and sadness turns into joy and I keep going.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I found a chinesse shop in Paitilla that sells everything I need!

/

And the prices are not as expensive as the ones in the gourmet shop!

Feel better and more energized

There’s a ebook with stretching exercises I found in the net. It is in pdf format. You can read it at my online library the library category is fitness and the password is “password”

This is the list and the ones I'd read.

Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz



Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite



I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou READED



The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier READED









The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain READED






Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck READED






Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling READED






Forever by Judy Blume



Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson



Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor



Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman



My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier



The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger READED











The Giver by Lois Lowry



It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris



Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine



A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck



The Color Purple by Alice Walker READED










Sex by Madonna READED






Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel



The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson



A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle READED








Go Ask Alice by Anonymous



Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers



In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak



The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard



The Witches by Roald Dahl



The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein



Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry



The Goats by Brock Cole



Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane



Blubber by Judy Blume



Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan



Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam



We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier



Final Exit by Derek Humphry



The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood



Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George



The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison



What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up #Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras



To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee READED
























Beloved by Toni Morrison READED






The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton



The Pigman by Paul Zindel



Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard



Deenie by Judy Blume



Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes READED










Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden



The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar



Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz



A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein



Brave New World by Aldous Huxley READED










Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice) READED






Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole



Cujo by Stephen King READED







James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl



The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell READED







Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy



Ordinary People by Judith Guest



American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis READED








What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras



Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume



Crazy Lady by Jane Conly



Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher



Fade by Robert Cormier



Guess What? by Mem Fox



The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende READED












The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney



Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut READED







Lord of the Flies by William Golding READED






Native Son by Richard Wright



Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday



Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen



Jack by A.M. Homes



Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya



Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle



Carrie by Stephen King READED












Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume



On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer



Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge



Family Secrets by Norma Klein



Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole



The Dead Zone by Stephen King READED











The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain READED






Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison



Always Running by Luis Rodriguez



Private Parts by Howard Stern READED








Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford



Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene



Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman



Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett READED









Running Loose by Chris Crutcher



Sex Education by Jenny Davis



The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene



Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy



How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell



View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts



The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder



The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney



Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

A Traditional English Breakfast

/

This month I’ll prepare a Full English Breakfast for my friends. I had no idea of everything I need. But I’ll write John for advice on this. I barely can remember all the variations I tasted while in Barbados.




This site English Cooking Site has an interesting page on it.




Wish me good luck! I hope to find all the ingredients. The british colony here is not very big.

It's a discipline that really freeds you!

I’ll advice anyone having problems with their deliverables to read the book!

Neart to close the Miramar spa deal

Well, If Mike approves my proposal we’ll exchange a year membership to the gym for developing and give maiteinance to the spa’s webpage.




We already registered the domain and next week he should have most of the content ready.




I hope would be more fun working out at the gym that in my apartment’s gym.

Well, therein lies a barebones tale

Well, I didn’t reach the 50,000 goal for Nanowrimo but I got almost 45,000 words.




It’s a lot of unconnected histories but at least I’ll have material to next year’s competition.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Put your sorrows behind and embrace the sorrow of others...

/

Life have been a little rough ride past months, I stopped doing all the things I wanted to do to be a better human being. To be able to say “I’m human” with a lot of conviction. To be able to say “I’m a man”, the value, not the sex label.




I’m not sure why I’m musing all this. Something happened today that remembered me my goal of living the buddhist dictum of taking responsability for all sentient beings. When I readed it, I told myself, this is what I want to do. The question is, how to do it?

Friday, December 09, 2005

It's growing!!!

/

I got tomatos, lettuce and onions. The tomato seeds had been the firsts showing up stems.




I’ll add some pics later!