I just don't have time!

Nor time nor intention. Being the easily distractive, prone to stumble into things won’t be advisable in the foreseeable future.

Besides, I love the unfinished look of it, it mimics my life.

See more progress on: decorate my apartment

Great pasttime!

I’ll recommend it anytime!!

See more progress on: try a new recipe once a month

Global Portfolio sort of thing

Ning is amazing! I love it! it’s a great framework. One of the ideas stored in some sticky note was to map my portfolio’s customers. Ning made it very easy. The application is called portfolio oikoumene At least allows you to create quite prototypes!!

See more progress on: write a successful social web application

Family dinner

This friday my family would be guests for dinner. It would be great, I’m looking forward it! I’m worry about Tita (my grandma) coming over, I wonder if any of my friends can lend me a hand and go and pick her up to bring her to the city.

I also will get to spent the weekend with mom. I hope she would help me to transplant the tomatoes that I’m growing in the window.

Why I feel I’m miles aways of everything that’s going on in my life.

See more progress on: spend more time with my mother

What we should conceal from our mom?

Even when we are having fun, I know she wants to know more what’s going on my life. But since a child, I keep my issues to myself, and that seems to hurt her.

See more progress on: spend more time with my mother

I'm gaining weight again...

I’m back to 200 pounds. :-(

See more progress on: Lose 40 lbs

Freelancing...

The other day a friend forward me an email for a guy who needed a custom made web application. Later I found he was contacted trough a site called RentaCoder , people post software projects they need and developers bid for the projects. I’d bid to four projects I’d liked a lot to work on.

My intention was taking on my savings to buy a brand new laptop for my birthday present, but instead, I’m gearing my goal to make enough money freelancing at that site so I won’t need to touch my savings. Let’s see how it goes.

See more progress on: Freelance trough RentaCoder.com to buy me a laptop.

Dragging on this

So far zero code and a lot of ideas. I’m using VisualMind to keep track of everything. However lending a hand to my brother in his Bienes Raices Panama Site is consuming my free workable hours.

See more progress on: write a successful social web application

An interesting article...

I found this interesting article about Building your own startup technology company

See more progress on: start my own company

TWELVE BRITISH BOOKS THAT CHANGED THE WORLD

I was checking newsvine and found this article about the TWELVE BOOKS THAT CHANGED THE WORLD It’s a book written by Melvyn Bragg , about, yes, twelve (british of course) books that changed the world.

These are the ones the article cites:

TWELVE BOOKS THAT CHANGED THE WORLD

Principia Mathematica (1687) by Isaac Newton *

Married Love (1918) by Marie Stopes

Magna Carta (1215) by members of the English ruling classes

Book of Rules of Association Football (1863) by a group of former English public-school men

On the Origin of Species (1859) by Charles Darwin (READED)

On the Abolition of the Slave Trade (1789) by William Wilberforce in Parliament, immediately printed in several versions

A Vindication of the Rights of Woman (1792) by Mary Wollstonecraft

Experimental Researches in Electricity (three volumes, 1839, 1844, 1855) by Michael Faraday

Patent Specification for Arkwright’s Spinning Machine (1769) by Richard Arkwright

The King James Bible (1611) by William Tyndale and 54 scholars appointed by the king (READED)

An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations (1776) by Adam Smith (READED)*

The First Folio (1623) by William Shakespeare

See more progress on: Read the twelve books that changed the world

Our first "Get ready for work" morning

This morning was very special. Both watched as each other prepared itself for work. It was quite odd, but amusing to discover such trivialites as the order we clean ourselves, dress ourselves and how fast. We still had to test having breakfast.

We had had in a couple of days, stuffed events of a lifetime. I should keep a reality check, we won’t last unless we have the “in the middle” steps we circunvent in our fast race to get laid. How do you make such trivial questions as “What’s your favourite dish” when you had shared the greatest intimacy known to man and woman?

Lust won’t sustain us beyond our own limits for pleasure, at least we are a good match. And love withers with time in absence of it. The net we must create to sustain us when we rebound, must be strong if we want to last a lifetime. If that is what we intend to do anyways. Lifetime seems so, well, long, to be more an uncertainity I rather won’t care about. As Eleazar said “What’s meant to be, is going to be.”

See more progress on: Propose to D

Content

I’ll be spending the weekend at Chiriqui, would be cool to document it and post it as an article. I’ll need to contact Alberto to see if he wants the outdoors section.

See more progress on: Finish my website

Let's see

Well, my little brother quit his job and came asking for help to setup an internet startup, Again I must said, but it seems this time he’s real serious about it.

So, let’s see what magic I can’t do from all the info stored in my brain.

See more progress on: start my own company

An open account in the bank of time...

Once a friend an I were driving late at night. The road was dark and it was rainning. I was scared because he was driving too fast. He then started to ran faster and faster, the cars passed by as a blur.
Then he stopped. "You felt it, don't you" he said.I knew what he meant.

I feel humble, I feel ashamed.God,If I could believe in youI guess I would askWhy you always spare me the worstNo matter how hard I try to be wrongBy what obscure means or designI'm being kept safe, in spite of myself.


The currents are shifting...
tic toc, tic toc, tic tocYou'd been granted more time

Intermission

So the dance begins...


If it looks like a trap, smells like a trap and feels like a trap. It probably is. Well, we already expected this, however, it's an elegant solution, I couldn't expect less from someone as smart. The foresight was just amusing, but we had other issues at hand, so let that thread run it course, don't waste time on it. Tinkering with fate wasn't meant for the faint of heart.


I wish I hadn't knowledge, nor wisdom,
I wish I had the innocence of a newborn,
the simplicity of a peasant.
The careleness of a drop of morning dew,
Hanging from a leaf, basking at the rising sun.


The currents are shifting,
but I'm barely aware of the pass of time.
The clocks tics,
there are more life threating issues at hand,
tic toc, tic toc,
our time is running out,
tic toc, tic toc,
what secrets are hidden within the soul of a god.
tic toc, tic toc.
I always suspected the purpouses of our designer weren't completely pure.
tic toc, tic toc,
game over?


Only humans believe in happy endings. We know better.


tic toc, tic toc,tic toc
The company of the gods and the concourse of the living are wondering what's going to be the choice of the newly born.


We know better. The currents are shifting...

How not to feel pity but have compassion.

I’m still troubled by what D told me on saturday. I’m trying not to feel pity, but understand and forgive such a senseless act of one person to hurt another. I’m twice troubled and in pain, one, because it hurted D, and two, because the comment only could’d been made from two sources, two humans I had/has in very high regards, and henceforth, it seems, one of them, not having the same opinion for me.

Is the worst way of losing a friend. To realize there never were.

See more progress on: be compassionate

Well, the answer was a yes.

Well, I proposed to D two days before scheduled. A bottle of wine, watching the city lights while the moon hoovered above us. Between hugs and kisses. Between silent whispers and sex, between passion and fear, between tension and relief. For instants I thought my poor old bed was going to exhale its last, but she standed by us until tired, we fell in each others arms, wasted.

Memory reconstructs the past very subjectively.

D is like a drug I can’t seem to have never enough, but as a drug, I have fears of what is going to be of me if I can’t have it anymore. We went to see Botero’s paintings yesterday at the MAC. I really can’t say who was more nervous, I had built so a strong failsafe system for myself based on the improbability of finding a human I could love that now those are as useless as an umbrella in the midst of a hurricane. Is not the fear to love, is the fear to be hurt, sometimes I just want to ran away, to shut it off, as I used to do, but just the glint in those eyes, chamaleonic in nature, eyes that change litterally in front of you, from brown to whatever shade of the caribbean sea that better reflects the thoughts that are running in that mind, and I stay, afraid, very afraid, but I stay, unable to look, unable to run, ashamed of my own weakness to break that spell. I hope we are doing the right thing.

In the meantime, the company of the gods and the concourse of the living watch the events unfold.

Never feel pity for humans. Pity regards its objects not only as suffering, but weak, and hence as inferior.

Compassion, on the other hand, is the truly mark of the divine.

See more progress on: Propose to D

A mountain town minutes away of a big metropoli

We went to Avila Magica (Caracas funicular) and then for about USD 2.00 a 4×4 car took us to Gallipan.

You can find there flowers, fruits and marmalades sales posts. It’s cold and the views are incredible.

My pictures of Gallipan

See more progress on: Gallipan

A wonderful weekend...

Past weekend was one of the greatest experiences I had had. It was full of nice surprises, excellente company, laughs without end, too much entheogenics, a wild and vivid nature, sun, sea, people, everything mixed with a sense of freedom I hadn’t had in a long time. The pleasure to enjoy life for the sake of life, to enjoy people for the sake of them. To wander, and learn and share ideas, a listen to different viewpoints, different experiences, differents loves.

I always going to be grateful for that weekend.

See more progress on: appreciate life

Jorge's Portuguese Green Soup ("Caldo Verde")

This one was showed to me by a venezuelan friend of portuguese descend:

2 glasses of Red wine
3 potatoes, peeled and thinly sliced
3 small sweet peppers
2 onion, minced
1 clove garlic, minced
A handful of Brocoli leaves rinsed and julienned
Ground Meat
Salt, white pepper, black pepper
Olive oil
sliced Portuguese or Spanish sausage
Bacon

First take a sip of wine to get in the mood.
Put the oil, chopped onions and the sweet peppers in the pan and cook them for about 3 minutes.
Add the meat, salt, white and black pepper. Stir.
Scrap the leaves, fold them very thight and chop them in small cuts.
Add the water, the chopped leaves, the bacon, chorizo and the sliced potatoes to the mix.
Let it simmer.
Remove the potatoes, smash them and add them again to the soup.

Add red wine at the end.

Share it with a friend.

See more progress on: try a new recipe once a month

Pesto sauce

cloves garlic

2 cups fresh basil leaves

3 tablespoons pine nuts (pignolia)

1 dash salt and pepper

1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil

1/2 cup Parmesan cheese grated

See more progress on: try a new recipe once a month

El Jarillo is an offshot town from Colonia Tovar

Settled by two german brothers from Colonia Tovar. It’s much alike Colonia Tovar but not as crowded.

See more progress on: El Jarillo

Try Bergland Restaurant

Try the Goulasch soup there! It’s amazing!

See more progress on: Colonia Tovar

Life is accelerating again...

I’m losing my grasp. D is an ocean of tranquility. I wish I could stay there.

See more progress on: be compassionate

Got the Chinesse CD

But can’t find the time!

See more progress on: Complete the Italian, French, German,Japanese,Arabic and English Talk to me CD courses I bought

I'm marking it as completed until I can travel to England.

There’s no Rugby tradition in my country, Panama. So, the other day, walking down the Boulevard in Caracas I found a EA Rugby 06= game for PC, is not the real thing but it’s as close as I can get to the game.

I swear once I go to England I’ll try it at least once and cricket too.

See more progress on: play rugby

Remember to Call Jonathan and Jackie

I need to figure out what’s the best time. It’s like 700 bolivars a minute here. Guess would be expensier in Panama.

See more progress on: keep in touch with those I love

I can't believe I finished

It’s amazing, Java is such a great language I hadn’t issues at all permeating David’s logic and making the necessary ammends for it to work as Victor wanted.

Now I’m in second phase and Victor had started to get creative. That’s a problem. I want to go back home!

See more progress on: Increase my OWEI dependability score

Working on it...

I’m trying to work 2 hours a day, jumping from one course to another.

The software is called Tell me more, by Auralog, it’s great! A nice interface, sometimes I feel it a littled dumbed down, but it’s ok once you learn to use it, some stuff is not pretty obvious if you are a seasoned computer user since things are not where you use to look for them. The game where you must arrange words to form a sentence using your own speech is great, is my favourite one. The crosswords requires at least you had memorized the words in the dictionary. But a great product. I can’t seem to find the Chinese CD :-( yet.

Italian: Near completion
French: Need to learn more grammar so things can make sense
German: My pronunciation is sooo baaad, grammar is ok
Arabic: I can’t seem to pass by first level.
English: Completed.

See more progress on: Complete the Italian, French, German,Japanese,Arabic and English Talk to me CD courses I bought

Of enlightened frogs and men

I’m having a strong headache since yesterday, can’t identify the cause and it’s killing me. Anyways, It’s been almost a month since I came to Venezuela. Everything is ok, I got to see my old friends and make news. I went to Fat Boy Slim’s Carnival Concert on the Poliedro de Caracas, it was great! I danced until 3:00am.

Carnival weekend passed aways without too much hassle, a night out with some friends where I ended consuming too much spice for my own good.

I'm wondering if my headache can be traced back to that.

Anyways, this headache had been so persistent I was dreaming I was sort of an enlightened frog atop a water lily teaching the sutras while wondering about the terrible headache I was having.

I should stop consuming entheogenics, there should be another way to keep myself alive

See more progress on: Have conversations with myself more often

Alia using the Digital Watercolours

This is a picture of Alia, I cloned it and using the match colours used the Digital Watercolours brushes on it. At the end I added the paper texture.

See more progress on: Learn to use my Genius Graphic tablet for Digital Painting.

A pastels portrait of Bear Jr.

I started this one using colour pencils, then added the pastels layer and finally light and texture effects using Painter IX.

See more progress on: Learn to use my Genius Graphic tablet for Digital Painting.

Peaches

Done in Paint using the pastels brush

See more progress on: Learn to use my Genius Graphic tablet for Digital Painting.

First try...

Once I got a hand on the tablet after a couple of hours I got it, it’s easier than a mouse, the spooky thing is having to control the computer by eye-hand coordination since you have to literraly float the pen over the tablet in order to use it as a mouse.

I choosed the peaches picture I took at Gallipan. Used a Sargeant brush to spread the colours, with a cloned pallette and finaly using pastels.

See more progress on: Learn to use my Genius Graphic tablet for Digital Painting.

Venezuelan Arepas

2 cups of Harina Pan
2 1/2 cups of water
A bit of salt

I’ll post the pictures later!

:-)

See more progress on: try a new recipe once a month

I bought a Genius 8x6 Mouse/Tablet combo

It’s very hard if not impossible to track a business in Panama city that sells tablets. But here in Caracas you can find them almost everywhere! I was going to buy a 5×4 Genius tablet, it was 89,000 bolivars. The girl at the shop showed me the 8×6 and it looked far more comfortable for what I intended to use it, digital painting. So I sacrificed a weekend of “Rumba” and bought the 6×8 one. It was 139,000 bolivars. Well, I’m going to spent this whole carnival weekend trying to learn how to do brush strokes in “digital” oils and watercolours.

See more progress on: get a graphics tablet

El Avila Gallipan

Once at the top of the mountain. You can go down a dirt road (very jumpy old road) to a near town called Gallipan. You pay 2,500 bolivars for a 15min ride in a 4×4 truck with 6 people more or walk the distance, about half and hour.

At the town you’ll find a big set of stores selling from flowers to preserved fruits and marmalades. Try the “Sandwich de Pernil”, you’ll have to wait for the trucks to pick you up, it was a long queue that saturday, the weather is nice, you can see the caribbean from Gallipan, is cold too, so take a jacket with you.

See more progress on: El Avila

El Avila Teleferic

Finally on saturday I got to go up there. You’ll need to go to the teleferic base, is called “Avila Magica”. They charge 39,000 bolivars for a two-way trip. The trip upwards take near 20 minutes, prepare the cameras because you’ll be able to snap shots of the city and the forests in the Avila’s sides. At the top there is a long walk with food and snacks stores, two restaurants and a plaza near the old Humboldt Hotel where there are shows for kids and adults.

See more progress on: El Avila

I'll need an extra suitcase for all the movies...

Well, I got a treasure of my favourites pictures on DVD. The only issue is that my DVD player back in Panamá is broken :-(

See more progress on: Start my DVD Collection

20060222

Entry: 8:30am
Day objectives: 7/5

Got Sudeban half an hour early than usual, programmed 5 objectives for today and I completed the whole application.

See more progress on: Increase my OWEI dependability score

Lesson one

Well, I’d found I’m very good at italian, guess because the latin roots. Hadn’t had time to test all the extents of the french cd, started with the german but without a basic sense of what I’m reading and speaking I feel uneasy learning that way.

I bought a headset with mic so I can use the speech recognition part of the software. My pronunciation is very good in italian and french, but the german takes a lot to emule.

See more progress on: Complete the Italian, French, German,Japanese,Arabic and English Talk to me CD courses I bought

Improving my professional self

A friend refered me to the Ocuppational Work Ethic Inventory site, it’s a test where you answer some questions about your talents and behaviour at work and they compare you to the professional traits that are expected in your level.

I got a seven of seven in interpersonal traits, that’s two points above average, got a seven of seven on Initiative, that’s two points about average, and a four of seven on dependability, that’s an worrisome two points below average.

Well, I’m going to try to improve myself trying to comply with the traits I’m failing. Mostly be on time and deliver on time.

See more progress on: Increase my OWEI dependability score

Improving my professional self

A friend refered me to the Ocuppational Work Ethic Inventory site, it’s a test where you answer some questions about your talents and behaviour at work and they compare you to the professional traits that are expected in your level.

I got a seven of seven in interpersonal traits, that’s two points above average, got a seven of seven on Initiative, that’s two points about average, and a four of seven on dependability, that’s an worrisome two points below average.

Well, I’m going to try to improve myself trying to comply with the traits I’m failing. Mostly be on time and deliver on time.

See more progress on: Increase my OWEI dependability score

My own DVD Collection

I never thought of having a movie collection because back then, VHS didn’t look alike a long lasting media. However, I had start collecting DVDs, buying those movies that had a meaning for me.

The English Patient
This is one of those movies, just thinking of or listening the soundtrack get my eyes wet.
The Sheltering Sky
Dune
Got me to read Frank Herbert
E.T.
This is the movie I associate with adolescence
The Rescuers. Aka Bernardo y Bianca
Scenes from this movie are some of the little memories I have from early childhood.
Legend
We were poor, there wasn’t to eat sometimes, but mom knew I wanted to see this movie and she took me there as a surprise.
Aliens
Sigourney weavers rocks
Those are the ones I’d being able to get so far…

See more progress on: Start my DVD Collection

A smile make wonders to make loads lighter

I spent most of my life in a dark place, a prison of my own, but bipolarity has its rewards, it’s amazing when sadness is the only constant, you really value a smile. In yourself and in others, is the most beautiful gift someone can gave me, making me smile.

See more progress on: smile more

Sábas Nieves...

In my visit to Caracas on 2005 I got to hike El Avila to Sabas Nieves, a Forest guard post. It’s a trail that a lot of people from the city does over the weekend. It was full of people of all ages and even parents with their babies. The hike took about two hours and the view is impressive. You can check at my Journal Entries photoblog the pics I took that one time.

I want to go up but using the teleferic this time! I hope to find the time and a good sunny day. Caracas is cold this time of the year and there’s use to be mist and clouds covering the top of El Avila.

See more progress on: El Avila

Gym Plus

Well, I got enroled at the Gym Plus near Sabana Grande. It’s two blocks from home and in front of the metro stop.

First day I did chest and arms, second day, back, third day legs and fourth day cardio.

I’m still weight the same, but I’m more bulgy. My muscles really answered fast to the weights, it’s great, I feel more active and it’s a more positive way of liberating stress than going romping around.

See more progress on: Work out more

Well, I readed the ones I could find!!

I’m sad of having to give up in this one. I moved to Caracas and is going to be hard to find those books I hadn’t read yet. But I’m glad for the effort and thankful to Happy Phantom for introduce me to this list!

Ideas should be free.

See more progress on: read the top 50 censored books

Sending emails...

Well, need to update my friends about my whereabouts. I’ll start writting tonight.

See more progress on: keep in touch with those I love

The Installation was moved to march

:-(

I’m not sure if I’ll be in Caracas for the new date.

See more progress on: Participate in the Caracas's Spencer Tunick Installation on th 29th

Spencer Tunick in Caracas

I couldn’t believe when I learnt that Spencer Tunick is going to put an installation next sunday here in Caracas! That’s great! I wrote to the Museum of Modern Arts of Caracas since they are inviting volunteers to participate.

See more progress on: Participate in the Caracas's Spencer Tunick Installation on th 29th

I found a great restaurant...

Well, at least is very healthy food, and the salads are great. I’m not sure but I’m turning leaner and more defined, I guess is from the stress of the trip or the withdrawal effects on my metabolism.

See more progress on: Lose 40 lbs

Calling home...

This travel to Venezuela was too fast, but I’m ok now, I feel like at my second home here. I’ve been calling mom daily so she won’t feel I’m kilometers away.

See more progress on: spend more time with my mother

Blessings?

M been a moving forward force, and now I meet D, four days before leaving Panamá for only G-d knows how long.

The question is what I’m looking for, and what’s for me in a relationship with both. The answer is quite clear.

In doubt, let the road walk you.

See more progress on: be content

Trip to Caracas

Mom is coming on monday, I’m leaving for Caracas next day. :-( I really don’t want to go. At least not now.

See more progress on: spend more time with my mother

Fear

Fear, even thinking about the word put my heart in pursuit mode. Focusing in the source at least I’ve been able to stop those panic attacks I was wrongfully thinking where caused by other stuff. Learning to identify the fear as a fear and it’s logic source had helped me to get over it.

I was meditating this morning, just before the sun raised. Once I finished, before coming back, I asked a question, “why I get so distracted”, I saw myself as a Kid reading a book in aunt Mima’s house. I opened my eyes with that image and while swimming in the pool I was trying to find the meaning, what possible had to do my love for learning with myself being so distracted. To get the right answers or at least a good aproximation of yourself you should ask the right question, in this case I got the right question, “Why I readed books when I went to visit Aunt Mima’s house?”

The question was pretty obvious to myself.

The younger Ken was escaping a reality he didn’t want. Like the proverbial ostrich hiding his head in the sand that one was hiding his head between the pages of a book. Nobody asked me questions, nobody interrupted me, only to tell me the visit was over.

After that I tried to go back and ask more questions, but mind responded with noise.

Definitely I need to have long conversations with myself.

See more progress on: Have conversations with myself more often

Bake my own bread: This task is going slooooowwww

At least I got the flour and the baking soda. There are selling this “Bread” making machine at the local PriceMart, $50 bucks, mmmm, maybe yes, maybe not hahahaha.

See more progress on: bake bread

Weekend

Mom came to stay a couple of days with me and then I traveled to Chiriqui to spent the weekend with her. It’s funny mom’s attitude, she enjoys taking me from one place to the next as if I was still that shy tiny and bony child that followed her everywhere. I’m grown, I’d had my dose of life. But I guess I’ll always be that to her.

See more progress on: spend more time with my mother