Musing IV Part II

October 28
Musing IV Part II

I need to buy another bed, we fucked so hard it almost broke. I had to put her on top of my desk and finish there.

After a few smokes she left, as always, to go to her other life, to her husband and kids. A life I'm not part of.

So I stayed alone, in the dull light of my room, undecided between a snort, a smoke or a pill to kill the sadness. Contemplating Buddha's permanent detachment and wishing I could learn to do the same.

Why I get emotional involved with my lovers. Even not trying, I finally care about the innumerable ones that share my bed. I can remember every single one of them. Their taste, their smell, their orgasms, the way the candles light their faces. I probably was a celibate priest in a past life, that's why I can't stop having sex in this one.

My bed can't take anymore.

I can't take anymore.

When I'm going to fall in love and have a family and kids of my own, so my wife would be able to cheat with someone like me.

Life sucks and life repeats itself.

We are the silly pawns.