Monday, July 28, 2008

Today's

1. Mom
2. Friends
3. Creativity
4. An early morning rain
5. A warm bed on a cold morning

Friday, July 25, 2008

:(

Usually the sun wakes me up, but for some reason I still feel too tired to go on. Wondering if I’ll have to go to bed early, change my pillows or Bed orientation!!!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Today's

1. Having dinner with Linda, Andy and Will.
2. The crane following my taxi this morning.
3. D’s call just to see how my day was…
4. Mom’s visit
5. The Dharma

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Found a great article on how to keep your IT skills sharp

Read about it in CNN

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/TECH/06/20/guerr.garden/index.html?iref=intlOnlyonCNN

And is not unlike that time when I sowed kitchen herbs and local trees among the Mall gardens hehehe.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Artits's way

Got two useful tools from reading the book, I’m at week 5. The morning pages, is amazing the amount of stuff I’ve zumbing around. There’s more clutter and baggage than I thought!

I’d stabilized work, education and finance are still concerns from what I can read from my unscripted streams of conciusness.

Love the walks with myself, used to do it when I was younger and needed time on my own. Now even I’m alone at my room, I’m not really alone, the clutter is there, both physical and mental, at least in the park under a soft rain it has where to expand and give me some space.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

7:45 am!

Did i!!

Now let’s see if we can repeat this tomorrow!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

It has to be a weekend...

It just looks odd being at work taking pictures…hehehe.

It’s a pitty my cellphone with camera got lost!! And my camera is not in worth conditions after years of abuse, I need to buy one, I hate the more recent models, they try to do everything for you and the pictures tend to look all the same all too perfect, loved the randomness inherent to my model…

Good two new clients!!

A website for a Gardening Magazine and another for a local artist!

Gooood!!

Created my first one..

But’s not working as expected hehehe.

Anyways is a great framework with a lot of possibilities!

Where I stand...

I’m enjoying my job, my bosses are happy with me, my customers are happy with me. I’m spending more time with family, certainly I’d been putting distance from my friends but I think I need time with myself to go trough this decluttering process and well, they want the old Ken back, my finances are stabilizing, creativity has been peaking, , and I’d been this content with myself since last year tragedies, I’m proud I’m doing well, feeling loved and overwhelmed with compassionate thoughts, is amazing how beautiful the world looks like in this state.

Ubercool

Folding cranes now is almost second nature, tough this task is going to be an exercise in discipline and patience. There’s an interesting history behind the folding of 1000 origami cranes I wasn’t aware of when started this task, an ancient Japanese legend says that if anyone folds a thousand origami cranes is granted a wish, like having a long life or recover from their illness or injury.

Cranes can also be sent to Hiroshima to be added to the children’s monument there.

Monday, June 02, 2008

New Start...

Weight: 208,9lb 94.8Kg
Height: 1,79m
IMC: 29.6

Body Fat: 25%
Fat weight: 23.7Kg

Just don't do it on a work day

I’m still paying dearly, walking like a robot…

Friday, May 30, 2008

I completely forgot how to do them!!

I remembered how to start, and what to do at the end but forgot the middle part RRRR.

Got some cool videos in how to fold origami cranes from youtube yesterday, I’m still practicing.

The source of the paper is the issue that has me thinking. Wondering if I’ll be able to use soda can’s aluminum instead of paper.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Get 5 people to sign my pledge

The United Nations have an online volunteer program called the United Nations Online Volunteering Programme

Nabuur is another site that has “villages”, those are actual communities around the world where a specific job needs to be done.

I currently dedicate 4 hours a week to volunteer tasks. I’ll give another hour a week if I can get at least 5 43thinglings to pledge to help doing volunteer work trough any of the mentioned sites!

It’s been a lot rewarding, and the comunnity of people helping there is very alike the 43things community.

The tasks go from the very basic to the specialized but because of the remoteness and sometimes lack of computer and information resources (internet) in those places is that our help is required: helping to create a marketing brochure, design a log, search google for farming techniques or water resources handling, looking for donors, putting up a website, translating from one language to another, tasks we all can do in our lunch break or idle time and that can hep to change lives around the world!

My pledge links:

AT Facebook

At Pledgebank.com

Hugs

Ken

:-(

Been unable to find a german edition in the local bookstores.
So been start reading it in english.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Matisse's

The Dinner Table

Tamara Lempicka's

Love her paintings…

Kickstart Hegemon...

Now that I’ve the tools I always find something that is missing and I’m using it as an excuse to not start. After investing almost 3K on this I cannot believe I’d allow so many months pass by without doing something about it.

Maybe taking a challenge that would require the tools I need would kickstart me again, instead of not accepting work because I think that “maybe” something would be amiss.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Poverty...

The other day I readed an article on a local newspaper. There’s a lot of panamenians living on less than two dollars a day.

Guess I’ll start to be more open to help homeless people when they ask for help.

1.46!! Wonder if I can last long enough living on that daily budget, I spent ten times that daily between transport, snacks and food.

Knowing how weak and the headaches I feel if I skip meals one day, no wonder the only energy left to them is to pursuit food by beggin or get drunk for the narcotic and caloric effect, besides is actually cheaper than bread right now, nobody can think of work in such a weakened state, I remember when I was studying at the university and had to use my short money to buy stuff had to decide between eating or buying supplies, those were hard times…

I’ll try to live for a week under that budget, whatever I save, I’ll use to buy supplies for a local charity.

Status update...

When everything seems to go as planned the auto-sabotage starts…I’m trying to keep myself positive and out of the blue, as cliche as it sounds, wish I could break whatever chains are keeping me on hold.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Week 1 almost done...

It’s been hard. I stopped a couple of months ago most of my addictions intending to see if I’d lost anything to them, when I started the morning pages, it was painful, very emotionally intense, the things that would thwarted those negative emotions from my system weren’t there, and they down on me with the full strenght of a truck, so much that I felt tempted to go back to them.

But I understood the purpouse of the whole exercise, was not to focus on the evil but to be aware that those things were there…

I’m looking forward my next week!!

Found a nice exerpt about this topic...

“How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one’s culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.”

By Barry Lopez.

Some personal thoughts:

I Face that every day, as the quote says, how to be compassionate, when it seems the whole world conspires to make you be otherwise.

My advice:
Live out. Don’t try to answer the question. Live on. If you find yourself failing, be bold, lean on the light, put distance between you and whatever tries to pull you back into the never-ending cycle of wrongdoing others…Live with a compassionate heart, surround yourself by likewise people!

Monday, May 12, 2008

I think it would be simpler if working with one piece...

First Set:

The Master & Margarita in Russian, Italian and French.

Things I'm doing wrong...

Still feeling guilty about all that wasted water when I forgot to close the laundry’s faucet and flooded my flat.

Still can’t find LED based bulbs in my city.

Working with 4 monitors.

My water and electricity consumption doubled in april and I cannot find a reason, from USD 9 for water and USD 18 for Power to USD 25 and USD 50.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Week 1

Week 1 starts today!! Looking forward the next 12 weeks.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Grateful to be able to feel ungrateful

I’d been dreaming with water all the weekend, everywhere within my dreams, running water, clear pristine water, oceans of water. My favourite environment seemed to be the motiff on whatever my mind has been trying to tell me all weekend. So I wake up this morning with a positive outlook to the small drizzle of rain, after all, I love rainy season.

Then I turned on the TV and the first glimpes of the Burma tragedy kicked in, there was the beautiful water that flowed so benign within my dream world wracking havoc half the world across.

I’m Grateful for my country being spared of such natural disasters.

I’m Grateful for water that gives life, and that may take it.

I’m Grateful for the wrath I felt, the rage against a absent landlord sometimes I wish would be looking our way more often.

I’m Grateful to be ungrateful.

I’m Grateful for water in the form of tears.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

My 43 random things

1.I go to sleep at 3:00am and wake up at 6:00am but won’t leave bed until 7:00am.
2.I love to be underwater.
3.Guiness is my favourite brand of beer.
4.I’d been heartbroken twice.
5.I’d been in love twice.
6.I love watching people being people.
7.My favourite place to read is not a cafe, is a bar.
8.My first dog was a German Shepherd called Barky
9.My second dog was a Pekinnesse called Benji.
10.When Benji died was the first time I saw mom crying, I was a kid, I had never seen her crying before.
11.The second time I saw my mom crying was when I asked who my father was. I never asked the question again.
12.I lost my faith in God the same night I got my first broken heart, unrelated reasons. I was 25.
13.I’d rather be alone. I’m sort of an empathic person, crowds can overwhelm me.
14. I love walking in the rain.
15. I have an espresso and a chocolate bar for breakfast.
16. I love pasta.
17. When I watch people I try to predict what they’ll do and what they’ll say, it’s a game I’d played since I was a kid.
18. Sometimes life feels scripted.
19. I feel home among trees.
20. I enjoy painting.
21. In average my desk stays uncluttered half and hour before I turn it into a mess.
22. Poetry.
23. I like old jazz.
24. I’ve a thing for mature women.
25. I like to cook for myself and improvise after 2:00am.
26. I read a lot.
27. I don’t like to use underwear.
28. I’m the guardian of a welsh corgi pembroke and a mut.
29. I Spent a lot of time just listening.
30. Someone up there must love me a lot.
31. I love the sea.
32. I almost got drown trying to save a man from drowning.
33. I often dream of being weightless in my own room.
34. I’m addicted to sex, reading and fried plantains.
35. I practiced my first surgery on myself when I was a kid reading a Dad’s notebook on the subject.
36. I love Cavafy’s poetry
37. It takes time for me to react emotionally, sometimes I do many years after the actual event.
38. One way I deal with my agoraphobia is to imagen people to be cattle, but then I felt it to be very offensive to cattle, now I just imagen people not to be there at all.
39. Rainy days, cloud skies. Love them.
40. I dislike sunny days.
41. I want to figure out the reason Buddha smiles. I bet it’s an inside joke.
42. I enjoy watching people being people.
43. I avoid negative people.

My 43 random things...

1.I go to sleep at 3:00am and wake up at 6:00am but won’t leave bed until 7:00am.
2.I love to be underwater.
3.Guiness is my favourite brand of beer.
4.I’d been heartbroken twice.
5.I’d been in love twice.
6.I love watching people being people.
7.My favourite place to read is not a cafe, is a bar.
8.My first dog was a German Shepherd called Barky
9.My second dog was a Pekinnesse called Benji.
10.When Benji died was the first time I saw mom crying, I was a kid, I had never seen her crying before.
11.The second time I saw my mom crying was when I asked who my father was. I never asked the question again.
12.I lost my faith in God the same night I got my first broken heart, unrelated reasons. I was 25.
13.I’d rather be alone. I’m sort of an empathic person, crowds can overwhelm me.
14. I love walking in the rain.
15. I have an espresso and a chocolate bar for breakfast.
16. I love pasta.
17. When I watch people I try to predict what they’ll do and what they’ll say, it’s a game I’d played since I was a kid.
18. Sometimes life feels scripted.
19. I feel home among trees.
20. I enjoy painting.
21. In average my desk stays uncluttered half and hour before I turn it into a mess.
22. Poetry.
23. I like old jazz.
24. I’ve a thing for mature women.
25. I like to cook for myself and improvise after 2:00am.
26. I read a lot.
27. I don’t like to use underwear.
28. I’m the guardian of a welsh corgi pembroke and a mut.
29. I Spent a lot of time just listening.
30. Someone up there must love me a lot.
31. I love the sea.
32. I almost got drown trying to save a man from drowning.
33. I often dream of being weightless in my own room.
34. I’m addicted to sex, reading and fried plantains.
35. I practiced my first surgery on myself when I was a kid reading a Dad’s notebook on the subject.
36. I love Cavafy’s poetry
37. It takes time for me to react emotionally, sometimes I do many years after the actual event.
38. One way I deal with my agoraphobia was to imagen people to be cattle, but then I found it to be very offensive to cattle, now I just imagen people not to be there at all.
39. Rainy days, cloud skies. Love them.
40. I dislike sunny days.
41. I want to figure out the reason Buddha smiles. I bet it’s an inside joke.
42. I enjoy watching people being people.
43. I avoid negative people.

Built a roadmap..

Of things I want to learn on every field I’m interested on, usually I consume every reading material at hand, at least with the roadmap I can see how every new reading contributes to the final goal.

Starting with...

1. ĐœĐ°ŃŃ‚Đ”Ń€ Đž Маргарота (Russian)
2. L’Ă©cume des jours (French)
3. De bello gallico (Latin)
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Today...

1. Clouded skies. It seems rainy season finally decided to show up, two months behind schedule. Yesterday I woke up at the sound of rain on the parking lot’s tin roof, soothing music to my ears.

2. D’s impromptu visit. Traveling from Mexico to Panama just to say hello, guess I cannot beat that.

3. Losing my cellphone. Feeling the same peace I found when I got rid of my wristwatch decades ago. But now everyone is like crazy because they can get to me. I even was amonested by my boss because he couldn’t find me on saturday, which is plain ridiculous since is my personal cellphone and I don’t work on saturdays.

4. Doing it. Finally feeling my vegetative spell is going away, on friday I actually went to the gym, programmed a lot and finished two more books.

5. My go frugal goal. I need more space, my room feels crowded with all that computers and monitors, plus the dogs that now live “permanentley” inside my room since is the cooler one. I may get rid of the bed and install one of those sofas that you can make a bed so I can actually have an office to do work.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Jan - April Update

Been lagging, trough started the year very well and pursuing this goal the other day I just felt something was holding me back, I’ve all the tools, all the resources and I’m afraid of, as my art teacher said, of my empty canvas.

Finances:
Improved:
*Got rid of my credit cards.
*My emergency fund reached six months worth.
*Got two extra sources of pasive income.
*Opened another Savings account for known future expenses.
To improve:
*Give following to new client prospects.
*Dedicate more time to freelancing.
*Find a suitable mechanism to keep my finance and personal documents handy.
*Go Frugal for real.

Education.
Improved:
*Readed a lot of technical books.
To Improve:
*Research available paths and plan for next year, this year I’m going into savings mode.

Personal.
Improved:
None
To Improve:
*Decide if I’m going to keep this long distance open relationship and work on maintain it or end it and go single again. The insecurity is just keeping me in an emotional void which is good for my sexual life but bad for my inner being, sometimes you just need a heartfelt hug.
*Put a moratorium to all my physical, emotional and intellectual addictions.
*Focus on improving my health, body and mind.
*Meditate more often, there’s too much noise going around because of unfinished things.
*Travel more within my country.

Career:
Improved:
*Finished reading all the books on the subjects I want to acquire expertise.
*Started to build things.
To Improve:
*Make proof of concepts in order to have a portfolio of expertises.
*Network more.
*Update my CV.

Activism:
Improved:
None
To Improve:
*Look for responsabilities within the party.
*Work on my volunteer site
*Volunteer more in my country

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Sub-tasks

-Get a backup ASAP of my online photoblog
-Geotag all the pictures
-Order a photoalbum of my favourites to give to my family and friends

Status

It could be worse hehehe, mom has been visiting me every other weekend since she retired and you just can’t say no to a mother’s homemade cooking.

Target Chest: 45 Current: 41
Target Waist: 31.8 Current: 40
Target Hip: 38 Current: 38
Target Bicep: 16 Current: 14
Target Tight: 24 Current: 23
Target Calf: 15 Current: 15

My town

Well, decided, I’ll write an article about the history of my town, San JosĂ© de David, capital city of Chiriqui province all the way since being just an indian village when the spaniards arrived. Did a piece when I was at high school and I just found it the other day while decluttering my room.

Trip to Mexico

Well, D spoiled the surprise, now mom is very excited. I wanted to go to D.F. but it’s too far away from CancĂșn to do a day trip.

Small steps

In order to complete the 2008 my best year yet goal I created a roadmap of things that must happen in order to mark that task completed. Decluttering my life is one of them, both the inside and the outside. My partner visited me past weekend, even when I tried to talk about my doubts that our “Long distance” relationship would work in the long term I discovered that much of the fear is coming from things I’d to sort out by myself. That’s in the internal, in the external I cancelled two credit cards, saving in order to cancel the last one, bought a more powerful laptop, cleaned my desk in order to have a place I would love to work on. I really hope to keep up, sometimes I just get sort of lazy, I’d my business registered but have no clue about what’s next, need to read some books on this and maybe get an accountant to help me on, I’d an idea of what marketing approach to use but my brother is more busy with his own company he has not much time to discuss strategies with me, well, let’s see.

My 5 things..

-Got my WelcomePanama.com domain back and recovered all my pictures!
-A friend gave me a ride to work today
-Finally got my webcam at home working, now I can see what Gretl and Alia are up to when I’m not home.
-Discovering in this trip that the bond with my partner remains stronger despite the distance that separate us.
-Finished configuring my new laptop and (you won’t believe it!) my desk!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Thoughts on this

I’ll apreciate some thoughts on this.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Bliss!!

I cancelled my second credit card! I’ll put the pieces on a frame over my desk as a warning.

One more to go, USD 1,200.

The problem of doing this at home is...

That if I prepare pasta for two days I eventually ate the whole pasta the same day before going to bed :-P

Well, I went shopping yesterday buying all that spicy stuff that make small dishes taste good.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Now this is creepy...I should create a task on "43 weird things that happened to me"

It seems I’m not the only one, this is exactly like the stuff I’d been going trough past week.

Now this is creepy...I should create a task on "43 weird things that happened to me"

It seems I’m not the only one, this is exactly like the stuff I’d been going trough past week.

Wondering what all that was about...

Been sort of introspective wondering where this sudden veil of darkness is coming from, for almost a week I’d a recurrent dream where I’m myself in the middle of a land almost black, where the only light seems to be a eerie gloom at the distance that allows me to see from time to time what looks like human forms black as coal moving between weird constructs or ruins of some sort, I approach them but I only can see black silouethes against the less darker background, they won’t answer my questions on how to reach the source of the light, some reach for me from odd angles and some touch me as if they were blind, when I try to touch them they would go away, I’m curious about it, not only because it has changed the usual pattern of my dreams but because there’s a lot of physical distress, I wake up tired and all hurt as if I were actually trekking a real place. Even tough I’m aware I’m inside a dream world the usual means to wake myself up when I’m within and things start to get nasty won’t work, but weirdly, I don’t mind, I don’t even try to wake up anymore, despite the sinister environment, I don’t feel threatened by the dark forms but as if they were mere being curious about why I’m there among them.

The house felt heavy those days, so much I went to sleep at E’s on monday, who was quite happy to have me around, the dream didn’t came to me that night, and I felt light and unusually happy and full of light, When I returned home, that night, the heaviness had gone, I found my hamsa broken on my desk, I remember what A told me about that when he gave it to me, sort of creepy. I’ll take it to a jeweler to see if it can be fixed.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Got a good book on Yoga for Men

Would start practicing this week.

non-violence

Osho wrote that Non-violence is not a principle to follow, but a consequence of mindfulness, if one is mindful one cannot be violent, thus, aggresive persons would mine our spirit if our convictions are not coming from our heart but from our mind, imposed by ourselves as a path we “want” to follow, a quite static path is that,and we forgot life is not a fixed path, but one that’s constantly changing, and when we find those bad apples on the humanity basket we do ourselves an them a favour by just flowing around them and going on.

Today

-My partner’s way of waking me up today
-The great breakfast that followed
-Realize I was on the verge of being prejudiced because of my neighbour complaint about myself having so many guests arriving at my house instead of putting myself in his place first.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Channels...

I’d use email, phone calls (using Movistar extra minutes), snail mail postcards and Facebook!

After a lot of thinking..

Every one of the people I love, that would be more than 100 smiles :-)

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Following advice from a previous post...

1. Increase income
-My boss approved trimestral bonuses (Ubercool)
-Got my boss to approve travel allowance (Ubercool)
-Invest in a new laptop to be able to handle more complicated work from RAC
-Advertise Hegemon more agressively
2. Reduce expenses
-Convince my boss to charge my travel expenses to the client.
-Be utterly spartan with my Light, Gas, Water, transport,Guiness, Vodka, night outs and bed partners.
-Increase the amount of days between the cleaning lady visits.
-Consolidate my credit cards (In process, ubercool)
4. Create multiple streams of income
-Renting my other room (Done)
-Creating a portfolio of clients

Great exercise to steal a smile ...

You tend to forget what you really enjoyed back then as you grow up, hahaha. Memories…

Entry #1 Childhood Memories

A closeup photo of me having Jell-o takeng by my father I don’t remember him taking.

My black cat that everyday at sunset would stay at the kitchen door watching, It’s my favourite motif

Freeing paper boats in the streams after a heavy rain

My first origami crane

My first rendition of the Venus de Milo

Being alone in the hills beyond the swamp

El

Mom surprising me taking me to see Legend

E.T.

My first succesful chemical garden

Jumping out of a waterfall (looked to me so high back then)

My first kiss

My second kiss

Everytime my dog had puppies

Azzel

Benji

Barky

My first poem

Jerry

Learning english to be able to communicate with Jerry

My first snowball

El’s farewell gift

My 7th birthday

First thing I bought with earned money, a book.

Sliding down the Comission building hill

Eating wild berries every summer

The cool waters of the Piedra river in Alanje

Fishing with Dad

Holy week at Alanje

My neverending amount of cousins

Reading

Another manic friday...

On this goal:

Option A:
Make a traditional one
Found this video of Alice in Wonderland popup book is awesome

Option B:
Make a Digital one
Flash (Already know how to do the flip page effect)
For the 3D popup been thinking of some of the 3D libraries I’d found, still in their infancy but enough for what I want.
There’s actually a working algorithm to turn 2D pictures in 3D popup alikes Get to read the papers or try to reverse engineering it

Ideal would be pipe 2D image -> 3D popup geometry -> Render in Flash 3D apis -> Popup in effect -> Pop out Effect -> Flip Effect

So anyone would be able to build animated “books” feeding the pages images to the flash.

Hints:
“Mechanical books should look like ordinary books. Their success is to be measured by the ingenuity with which their bookish format conceals unbookish characteristics.”