Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Today's gratitude

-Thanks for being able to Call Andy for his birthday
-Thanks for D
-Thanks for loneliness
-Thanks for friends
-Thanks for Life…Ahhhh Life!!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Today's

-Rainstorms
-Children laughing
-Dilawi festival
-Going to the movies with Nicolas
-Sharing a very funny time between Arlenis, Nicolas and I when Arlenis locked herself out of her bedroom at 4:00am and we had to use every tool in the house to get it open (while on underwear). One of those anecdotes to never forget.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Caldo verde

Prepared Caldo Verde this weekend but I put so much pork sausage on it, instead of green looked red hehehe.

It was a great evening.

Monday, October 13, 2008

I'll need a hell of support on this one!

Anyone want to create a group at Sparkle for 43thingers???

I really “wanted” to go yesterday to the gym (2 minutes by elevator from my floor) but instead I’d a pound of Yuca (A very starchy root) with Chicken Tasajo (Smoked chicken) deluding myself on that I’ll go later and I would prepare dinner first. While I was “preparing” dinner, since I was still hungry I put in the microwave a “5 minute rissoto” after eating all of it finally I finished preparing dinner: 2 pounds of spagetthi with chicken…That spagetthi never got to the 6:00pm dinner time btw…either I’m overeating or it was really good…

No wonder I’m 220 lbs now!! :-(

Today's

-Being able to see beauty no matter the circunstances
-The amazing display of yesterday’s moon
-The sound of rain over a tin roof
-Feeling again driven to create
-My beautiful dogs

Friday, October 10, 2008

Desk

For the Nth time I cleaned my desk, it seems everything I can find a place for ends there (it’s one of those BIG executive desks). It’s a pitty because it looks so good when bare empty.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Today...

I’m greateful

-Being manic so I finally got to declutter my desk.
-For doing the right thing.
-For Ich+Ich songs
-For having someone I can send Ich+Ich songs
-For love

Friday, October 03, 2008

Friday...

-Solve E’s issues with his ITR.
-Fill and send the port opening request forms.
-Check today extractions
-Prepare monday’s task list
-Prepare list of pending errands
-Fix Avatar issue with R.
-Reflect on the whole week acomplishments.
-Take mom to see Mama Mia.
-Go out for a drink with Peter.
-Return early.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Would write this in big letters in my bathroom's mirror

Hope it works!

Tuesday

-Help Allis to complete the Segmentation project.
-Wrapup the Apple project
-Put up to day all extractions.
-Install Magento at Jessie’s website.
-Fix Edouard’s Forum
-Create a basic animation to put as hold for Rasputin’s site.
-Transfer money to Mom’s account
-Pay my bills
-Buy myself a gift
-Go to Edouard to check his hardrives.
-Discuss with Alberto the Marketing approach to his magazine.
-Return home to work on Jessie’s site.
-Play with the dogs.
-Go to sleep early.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Morning..

-Walk around my old town
-Take pictures of the new park
-Take a bus to Almirante
-Enjoy the view of the mountain crossing
-Take as much pics as I can
-Take a boat to the main island
-Have Fish/Coconut Rice/Fried Plantains/Icing glass (A beverage made of seagrass)
-Take pictures of Icing Glass for the facebook “Sabor Panameño” application
-See a nice rainstorm at the sea
-Enjoy quality time with Mom
-Locate Matias and other CSers in Bocas

Monday, September 22, 2008

Nothing compares to...

Walking barefeet over Mama Earth…

Thursday, September 18, 2008

"Me" Time

“Me” time for reading at leisure.
“Me” time to watch the rain fall.
“Me” time to write my friends overseas.
“Me” time to wander in a bookstore.
“Me” time to cook my favourite dishes.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Some specifics thanks to Wanderer and Sandy

1) Professional project finished.

2) My house decluttered and decorated!

3) Organize my studies.

4) Be happier in – or quit – my job(s).

5) Be say 14lbs lighter with a 6 pack and such

I'll dedicate 5 minutes daily to this...

It’s going to be also an exercise on discipline :)

Still...

It seems I’m able to “Stop” just for a few seconds, wondering if I’m manic. Anyways, at least I got to take the dogs to the vet, still have a pending list of stuff, what would be required to force myself to stop and reevaluate where I am and what I want to do, it’s always easier saying it to yourself than doing it, one rarely follows our own advise or others’s.

Remember that 43things 5 things to be grateful always made me stop and think and I miss that, I’ll add that goal again.

Moments ago found an interesting quote:

“The only obstacle is the distance between your ears”

Soooo truthful!!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Prognatus creo...

Well, I finally put in order my desk, bought that Tiffany lamp I wanted and moved out of my room everything that could make me feel constrained.

The new version of java on Vista somehow wrecked my freemind installation and now I can update my ideas mindmap.

Is amazing how little stuff like that can keep you from doing.

I missed this semester registration for the master’s degree, so I’ve to wait, would push forward every day for the next 4 months to complete at least half of my ideas cloud after that, my whole focus would be on the degree.

I need to do this before my next existential crisis hit hehehe.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Damn!

Four days of celebrating my birthday I spent 600 US. Amazing, I could’d travel to Caracas for a weekend with that amount and having a better used time instead of, well, basically, debauchery.

Dispersed...

That feeling of everything going to fast for me to care, I thought I’d overcome it, when I tripped and felt into the maelstrom again, don’t know, but is way clear I’m willing or unwillingly, more willing I think, to put myself again in a path of self-destruction.

Best sign of this: this year five priorities, so important at the beginning of this year, now don’t induce the simplest emotional response.

Is stability deluding me into thinking everything is ok? while my mind blocks itself, the barely capability of rationality that I’m allowed to summon is not enough to make me react, shake, awake.

Is like being trapped in a dream, trying to awake myself but unable to do so, while danger looms closer and closer.

Maybe I’m down and I hadn’t notice, could be, wish I could just go away for a while, alone, to sit and ask freely and without fear of judgment, “Ken, what’s going on now?” and receive an answer.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Update Status

-Debts
Up to date with all payments Zero Credit Cards. There’s a 218 showing up in my mortgage, seems is interest because a skipped payment from the office. Need to check that.

-Personal
Never thought an open relationship would be this taxative, more if I find troublesome just to get laid when I’m emotionally involved with someone else.

-Professional
Anyone can hear the word “stagnation” echoing around? Enjoy the job but is this what I want to be doing when I reach my 40ts?!!

-Alternate careers
Not even had done the required research.

-Family
I told myself I’ll marry before turning 36, that’s in two days!

-Art
Doing a lot lately

-Financial freedom
Doing a lot of freelance work.

-Growth
There’s a lot of static in my mind lately

Monday, August 18, 2008

Today's

-Go for a night walk around the neighbourhood

Great!

My cleaning lady has been cleverly “hiding” all the clothes she “spoiled” by dropping Chlorine on them. Find out only because trying to locate a t-shirt I hadn’t see in ages, suddenly shirts, trousers, t-shirts, boxers, arghhhh!!!

Well, guess I’ll pack those and give them away, now I need to plan carefully what I need, well, what I really need to replace.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Well, at my current pace it would take me 130 years...but then...

Shot at the stars and you may well hit the moon…

3 months going ok

I’m thinking on automating the payments, been consistent by 3 months now!

Don't forget the milk

The new improved Remember the Milk has pretty nice features, an intuitive way of creating tasks and later I can sync them to my gmail calendar (and from there to every other calendar I own: Outlook, Plaxo,30Boxes, PocketPC).

Moving to Vista and being unable to sync my pocketPC was really disruptive. Hoping with this I’ll be back on track.

Got a new camera!!

I couldn’t wait until my birthday, an even wanting a SLR, found a cheaper point an shot camera that still allows me some freedom on the setup, a samsung s760. Been playing with it for a while, this weekend I plan going on to the city’s old quarter to snap some shots.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Today's

1. Mom
2. Friends
3. Creativity
4. An early morning rain
5. A warm bed on a cold morning

Friday, July 25, 2008

:(

Usually the sun wakes me up, but for some reason I still feel too tired to go on. Wondering if I’ll have to go to bed early, change my pillows or Bed orientation!!!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Today's

1. Having dinner with Linda, Andy and Will.
2. The crane following my taxi this morning.
3. D’s call just to see how my day was…
4. Mom’s visit
5. The Dharma

Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Artits's way

Got two useful tools from reading the book, I’m at week 5. The morning pages, is amazing the amount of stuff I’ve zumbing around. There’s more clutter and baggage than I thought!

I’d stabilized work, education and finance are still concerns from what I can read from my unscripted streams of conciusness.

Love the walks with myself, used to do it when I was younger and needed time on my own. Now even I’m alone at my room, I’m not really alone, the clutter is there, both physical and mental, at least in the park under a soft rain it has where to expand and give me some space.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

7:45 am!

Did i!!

Now let’s see if we can repeat this tomorrow!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

It has to be a weekend...

It just looks odd being at work taking pictures…hehehe.

It’s a pitty my cellphone with camera got lost!! And my camera is not in worth conditions after years of abuse, I need to buy one, I hate the more recent models, they try to do everything for you and the pictures tend to look all the same all too perfect, loved the randomness inherent to my model…

Good two new clients!!

A website for a Gardening Magazine and another for a local artist!

Gooood!!

Created my first one..

But’s not working as expected hehehe.

Anyways is a great framework with a lot of possibilities!

Where I stand...

I’m enjoying my job, my bosses are happy with me, my customers are happy with me. I’m spending more time with family, certainly I’d been putting distance from my friends but I think I need time with myself to go trough this decluttering process and well, they want the old Ken back, my finances are stabilizing, creativity has been peaking, , and I’d been this content with myself since last year tragedies, I’m proud I’m doing well, feeling loved and overwhelmed with compassionate thoughts, is amazing how beautiful the world looks like in this state.

Ubercool

Folding cranes now is almost second nature, tough this task is going to be an exercise in discipline and patience. There’s an interesting history behind the folding of 1000 origami cranes I wasn’t aware of when started this task, an ancient Japanese legend says that if anyone folds a thousand origami cranes is granted a wish, like having a long life or recover from their illness or injury.

Cranes can also be sent to Hiroshima to be added to the children’s monument there.

Monday, June 02, 2008

New Start...

Weight: 208,9lb 94.8Kg
Height: 1,79m
IMC: 29.6

Body Fat: 25%
Fat weight: 23.7Kg

Just don't do it on a work day

I’m still paying dearly, walking like a robot…

Friday, May 30, 2008

I completely forgot how to do them!!

I remembered how to start, and what to do at the end but forgot the middle part RRRR.

Got some cool videos in how to fold origami cranes from youtube yesterday, I’m still practicing.

The source of the paper is the issue that has me thinking. Wondering if I’ll be able to use soda can’s aluminum instead of paper.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Get 5 people to sign my pledge

The United Nations have an online volunteer program called the United Nations Online Volunteering Programme

Nabuur is another site that has “villages”, those are actual communities around the world where a specific job needs to be done.

I currently dedicate 4 hours a week to volunteer tasks. I’ll give another hour a week if I can get at least 5 43thinglings to pledge to help doing volunteer work trough any of the mentioned sites!

It’s been a lot rewarding, and the comunnity of people helping there is very alike the 43things community.

The tasks go from the very basic to the specialized but because of the remoteness and sometimes lack of computer and information resources (internet) in those places is that our help is required: helping to create a marketing brochure, design a log, search google for farming techniques or water resources handling, looking for donors, putting up a website, translating from one language to another, tasks we all can do in our lunch break or idle time and that can hep to change lives around the world!

My pledge links:

AT Facebook

At Pledgebank.com

Hugs

Ken

:-(

Been unable to find a german edition in the local bookstores.
So been start reading it in english.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Matisse's

The Dinner Table

Tamara Lempicka's

Love her paintings…

Kickstart Hegemon...

Now that I’ve the tools I always find something that is missing and I’m using it as an excuse to not start. After investing almost 3K on this I cannot believe I’d allow so many months pass by without doing something about it.

Maybe taking a challenge that would require the tools I need would kickstart me again, instead of not accepting work because I think that “maybe” something would be amiss.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Poverty...

The other day I readed an article on a local newspaper. There’s a lot of panamenians living on less than two dollars a day.

Guess I’ll start to be more open to help homeless people when they ask for help.

1.46!! Wonder if I can last long enough living on that daily budget, I spent ten times that daily between transport, snacks and food.

Knowing how weak and the headaches I feel if I skip meals one day, no wonder the only energy left to them is to pursuit food by beggin or get drunk for the narcotic and caloric effect, besides is actually cheaper than bread right now, nobody can think of work in such a weakened state, I remember when I was studying at the university and had to use my short money to buy stuff had to decide between eating or buying supplies, those were hard times…

I’ll try to live for a week under that budget, whatever I save, I’ll use to buy supplies for a local charity.

Status update...

When everything seems to go as planned the auto-sabotage starts…I’m trying to keep myself positive and out of the blue, as cliche as it sounds, wish I could break whatever chains are keeping me on hold.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Week 1 almost done...

It’s been hard. I stopped a couple of months ago most of my addictions intending to see if I’d lost anything to them, when I started the morning pages, it was painful, very emotionally intense, the things that would thwarted those negative emotions from my system weren’t there, and they down on me with the full strenght of a truck, so much that I felt tempted to go back to them.

But I understood the purpouse of the whole exercise, was not to focus on the evil but to be aware that those things were there…

I’m looking forward my next week!!

Found a nice exerpt about this topic...

“How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one’s culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.”

By Barry Lopez.

Some personal thoughts:

I Face that every day, as the quote says, how to be compassionate, when it seems the whole world conspires to make you be otherwise.

My advice:
Live out. Don’t try to answer the question. Live on. If you find yourself failing, be bold, lean on the light, put distance between you and whatever tries to pull you back into the never-ending cycle of wrongdoing others…Live with a compassionate heart, surround yourself by likewise people!

Monday, May 12, 2008

I think it would be simpler if working with one piece...

First Set:

The Master & Margarita in Russian, Italian and French.

Things I'm doing wrong...

Still feeling guilty about all that wasted water when I forgot to close the laundry’s faucet and flooded my flat.

Still can’t find LED based bulbs in my city.

Working with 4 monitors.

My water and electricity consumption doubled in april and I cannot find a reason, from USD 9 for water and USD 18 for Power to USD 25 and USD 50.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Week 1

Week 1 starts today!! Looking forward the next 12 weeks.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Grateful to be able to feel ungrateful

I’d been dreaming with water all the weekend, everywhere within my dreams, running water, clear pristine water, oceans of water. My favourite environment seemed to be the motiff on whatever my mind has been trying to tell me all weekend. So I wake up this morning with a positive outlook to the small drizzle of rain, after all, I love rainy season.

Then I turned on the TV and the first glimpes of the Burma tragedy kicked in, there was the beautiful water that flowed so benign within my dream world wracking havoc half the world across.

I’m Grateful for my country being spared of such natural disasters.

I’m Grateful for water that gives life, and that may take it.

I’m Grateful for the wrath I felt, the rage against a absent landlord sometimes I wish would be looking our way more often.

I’m Grateful to be ungrateful.

I’m Grateful for water in the form of tears.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

My 43 random things

1.I go to sleep at 3:00am and wake up at 6:00am but won’t leave bed until 7:00am.
2.I love to be underwater.
3.Guiness is my favourite brand of beer.
4.I’d been heartbroken twice.
5.I’d been in love twice.
6.I love watching people being people.
7.My favourite place to read is not a cafe, is a bar.
8.My first dog was a German Shepherd called Barky
9.My second dog was a Pekinnesse called Benji.
10.When Benji died was the first time I saw mom crying, I was a kid, I had never seen her crying before.
11.The second time I saw my mom crying was when I asked who my father was. I never asked the question again.
12.I lost my faith in God the same night I got my first broken heart, unrelated reasons. I was 25.
13.I’d rather be alone. I’m sort of an empathic person, crowds can overwhelm me.
14. I love walking in the rain.
15. I have an espresso and a chocolate bar for breakfast.
16. I love pasta.
17. When I watch people I try to predict what they’ll do and what they’ll say, it’s a game I’d played since I was a kid.
18. Sometimes life feels scripted.
19. I feel home among trees.
20. I enjoy painting.
21. In average my desk stays uncluttered half and hour before I turn it into a mess.
22. Poetry.
23. I like old jazz.
24. I’ve a thing for mature women.
25. I like to cook for myself and improvise after 2:00am.
26. I read a lot.
27. I don’t like to use underwear.
28. I’m the guardian of a welsh corgi pembroke and a mut.
29. I Spent a lot of time just listening.
30. Someone up there must love me a lot.
31. I love the sea.
32. I almost got drown trying to save a man from drowning.
33. I often dream of being weightless in my own room.
34. I’m addicted to sex, reading and fried plantains.
35. I practiced my first surgery on myself when I was a kid reading a Dad’s notebook on the subject.
36. I love Cavafy’s poetry
37. It takes time for me to react emotionally, sometimes I do many years after the actual event.
38. One way I deal with my agoraphobia is to imagen people to be cattle, but then I felt it to be very offensive to cattle, now I just imagen people not to be there at all.
39. Rainy days, cloud skies. Love them.
40. I dislike sunny days.
41. I want to figure out the reason Buddha smiles. I bet it’s an inside joke.
42. I enjoy watching people being people.
43. I avoid negative people.

My 43 random things...

1.I go to sleep at 3:00am and wake up at 6:00am but won’t leave bed until 7:00am.
2.I love to be underwater.
3.Guiness is my favourite brand of beer.
4.I’d been heartbroken twice.
5.I’d been in love twice.
6.I love watching people being people.
7.My favourite place to read is not a cafe, is a bar.
8.My first dog was a German Shepherd called Barky
9.My second dog was a Pekinnesse called Benji.
10.When Benji died was the first time I saw mom crying, I was a kid, I had never seen her crying before.
11.The second time I saw my mom crying was when I asked who my father was. I never asked the question again.
12.I lost my faith in God the same night I got my first broken heart, unrelated reasons. I was 25.
13.I’d rather be alone. I’m sort of an empathic person, crowds can overwhelm me.
14. I love walking in the rain.
15. I have an espresso and a chocolate bar for breakfast.
16. I love pasta.
17. When I watch people I try to predict what they’ll do and what they’ll say, it’s a game I’d played since I was a kid.
18. Sometimes life feels scripted.
19. I feel home among trees.
20. I enjoy painting.
21. In average my desk stays uncluttered half and hour before I turn it into a mess.
22. Poetry.
23. I like old jazz.
24. I’ve a thing for mature women.
25. I like to cook for myself and improvise after 2:00am.
26. I read a lot.
27. I don’t like to use underwear.
28. I’m the guardian of a welsh corgi pembroke and a mut.
29. I Spent a lot of time just listening.
30. Someone up there must love me a lot.
31. I love the sea.
32. I almost got drown trying to save a man from drowning.
33. I often dream of being weightless in my own room.
34. I’m addicted to sex, reading and fried plantains.
35. I practiced my first surgery on myself when I was a kid reading a Dad’s notebook on the subject.
36. I love Cavafy’s poetry
37. It takes time for me to react emotionally, sometimes I do many years after the actual event.
38. One way I deal with my agoraphobia was to imagen people to be cattle, but then I found it to be very offensive to cattle, now I just imagen people not to be there at all.
39. Rainy days, cloud skies. Love them.
40. I dislike sunny days.
41. I want to figure out the reason Buddha smiles. I bet it’s an inside joke.
42. I enjoy watching people being people.
43. I avoid negative people.

Built a roadmap..

Of things I want to learn on every field I’m interested on, usually I consume every reading material at hand, at least with the roadmap I can see how every new reading contributes to the final goal.

Starting with...

1. Мастер и Маргарита (Russian)
2. L’écume des jours (French)
3. De bello gallico (Latin)
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Today...

1. Clouded skies. It seems rainy season finally decided to show up, two months behind schedule. Yesterday I woke up at the sound of rain on the parking lot’s tin roof, soothing music to my ears.

2. D’s impromptu visit. Traveling from Mexico to Panama just to say hello, guess I cannot beat that.

3. Losing my cellphone. Feeling the same peace I found when I got rid of my wristwatch decades ago. But now everyone is like crazy because they can get to me. I even was amonested by my boss because he couldn’t find me on saturday, which is plain ridiculous since is my personal cellphone and I don’t work on saturdays.

4. Doing it. Finally feeling my vegetative spell is going away, on friday I actually went to the gym, programmed a lot and finished two more books.

5. My go frugal goal. I need more space, my room feels crowded with all that computers and monitors, plus the dogs that now live “permanentley” inside my room since is the cooler one. I may get rid of the bed and install one of those sofas that you can make a bed so I can actually have an office to do work.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Jan - April Update

Been lagging, trough started the year very well and pursuing this goal the other day I just felt something was holding me back, I’ve all the tools, all the resources and I’m afraid of, as my art teacher said, of my empty canvas.

Finances:
Improved:
*Got rid of my credit cards.
*My emergency fund reached six months worth.
*Got two extra sources of pasive income.
*Opened another Savings account for known future expenses.
To improve:
*Give following to new client prospects.
*Dedicate more time to freelancing.
*Find a suitable mechanism to keep my finance and personal documents handy.
*Go Frugal for real.

Education.
Improved:
*Readed a lot of technical books.
To Improve:
*Research available paths and plan for next year, this year I’m going into savings mode.

Personal.
Improved:
None
To Improve:
*Decide if I’m going to keep this long distance open relationship and work on maintain it or end it and go single again. The insecurity is just keeping me in an emotional void which is good for my sexual life but bad for my inner being, sometimes you just need a heartfelt hug.
*Put a moratorium to all my physical, emotional and intellectual addictions.
*Focus on improving my health, body and mind.
*Meditate more often, there’s too much noise going around because of unfinished things.
*Travel more within my country.

Career:
Improved:
*Finished reading all the books on the subjects I want to acquire expertise.
*Started to build things.
To Improve:
*Make proof of concepts in order to have a portfolio of expertises.
*Network more.
*Update my CV.

Activism:
Improved:
None
To Improve:
*Look for responsabilities within the party.
*Work on my volunteer site
*Volunteer more in my country

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Sub-tasks

-Get a backup ASAP of my online photoblog
-Geotag all the pictures
-Order a photoalbum of my favourites to give to my family and friends

Status

It could be worse hehehe, mom has been visiting me every other weekend since she retired and you just can’t say no to a mother’s homemade cooking.

Target Chest: 45 Current: 41
Target Waist: 31.8 Current: 40
Target Hip: 38 Current: 38
Target Bicep: 16 Current: 14
Target Tight: 24 Current: 23
Target Calf: 15 Current: 15