The Narcissus effect

2:13am.
Belleville 8th Avenue Data Center Facility.
2 happy pills after
4 cubes modified
Waiting for data to load.

Found a picture of me in the photoblog website I hadn't seen before.

I hardly recognize the man in that picture.

The essence of maya resides in perceptions. How people perceive me, how I perceive myself as a byproduct of other people perception, how I perceive others, how my perception of them change them.

The essence of maya reside in perceptions.

Buddha said without words that there's only one sentient being and that there's only one instant in time. In that instant that sentient being is every sentient being that existed or will exist, in that instant all sentient beings that existed or will exist would be that only sentient being. In that singularity resides everything. So in the same instant there's nothing and there's everything. The universe is dying and is born. I'm writting this words and Buddha is trascending for the first time.

The essence of maya resides in perceptions.

Cubes finished loading.

Barbados, Warrens 10:00am About Integrity in humans

Yesterday reviewing the model with Jonathan I figure out a design issue, the contributions for the activities if added to the contribution from Console's Retail spread would return then only the final value and not the separate contribution. To do so I need to have another instance that would hold the spread coming from Console using the cost ratios from activities and maintaining the original one from activities adding them further in other cube so the drill-trough would proceed backwards and show all the components of the contribution. Knowing this was pointless to keep changing the model with Jonathan since that would be an important issue I had to solve first.

Jonathan, Noel and Jennifer had a meeting this morning. Jennifer gave me a summary later in the day, basically where concerns about retail, ops and headoffice. Jonathan is not interested in analyse the flow from input to output, rather, using the drill-trough from Planning do a back-flow from the output cube to all contributions, that's fair to me. I'm going to build a diagram that holds the results of the process as reference, since the cubes now are so dam huge it's a pain in the butt trying to debug them as a whole.


This morning started with a meeting between Jennifer, Jose and I. Jose was contending that I hadn't delivered the requested files for him to start developing the journal routines. His "selective memory" seems to forgot that I've been behind his back the past three weeks asking him why he can't use the output file I delivered to him and that would be the same as would be now to start building that code, his observation was that he needs the flag to be there, ok I said, that's a column holding a "N", well but he needed the real stuff, ok then, but the real stuff for just building the loading routines? and then he replied about "not working twice" I said ok. And don't push that any further. In today's meeting he was like "Ken hadn't delivered me the file" I said: "I gave you the one of retail" he said: "the flag wasn't there nor the product and the customer", I said: "Well, the customer is there, you said everything you need was there, when asked about the product he said "I can pull that from the system I had what I need since the account is mapped to the product" he didn't said "That would amount to a lot o work to do". But well, I stop arguing because he wasn't going to admit that he could do it but he choosed not to, instead using me to buy time, go figure!! I should suspect that when he told me that if I can take that data for thursday when we talked the day before about friday.

Well looking that he really needs that, I'm going to push more over the top to complete the changes tonight and have the output for him tomorrow so he can start to work over the weekend. If he said that something else is missing then I'll know he was just trying to buy time at my expense.

I'm frustrated, he's a good person, no, I'll deliver that output next week. let him have his weekend free with his family.

The Human condition sucks.

About the nature of tunnels.

Friends seems to know when we need them.

There I was, contemplating the missery of my impending fall in the form of a corrupted Planning cube. Hovering over a half empty/Half full cup of coffe likened to a dark pit. Flirting with the sweet melancholy that kept my irises wide open as if in doing so, my paired eyes would capture as much light as required to vanish the slowly crawling darkness that moved from within my mind´s crevices into nerves and muscles to show the saddened face of a mad man.

Israel rang me and we put ourselves up to date. It was nice to talk to him, it eased my pain a lot. He had a hell of a day, and so did I. We joked about Chavez, about Posada Carriles, his wedding, my wedding, the bajan chicks and the beauty of venezuelan women.

Just guys's talk

A day without rain...

Everything was ok. Then suddenly at 9:00am I started to slip off.
By noon I was already down and by 7:00pm I was musing depressive songs.

Now, I'm slipping more and more.

In the bright side, the development server was added more RAM, so I'm working faster now, I'm going to go the extra mile tonight to finish for once and all. I'm tired of Planning. Want to do something else. I would love being in a systems integration project, I had learnt what I needed to learn. Ironically more in the human side than the technical side. Humans are an incredible bunch, they can be so unique.

Somewhere in the day there was a meeting between Noel and Jennifer. Jennifer is going on with the Budgeting Project.

Planning still has issues with the big sizes of the cubes but at least I can correct and test faster with the Ram added today. Being able to load all the cube instead of painstakenly slicing them to be able to debug them properly! Thanks God whoever thought (6 weeks later) to finally adding Ram instead of complaining why more Ram was needed. Users!

There were some events that could've triggered the slip off. It's weird since I arrived in Barbados hadn't a single episode. Indeed, is the longest time I'd recorded my mood to be the other side of darkness.

Belleville, Barbados 7:23pm

An oustanding day for sure!

Wake up early in the morning and went to the laundermat. When I went back I had two messages from Johana. She seemed very worried because I wasn't at Belleville, but then, I guess I should've called early in the morning to report them I need to go to the laundermat.

Went back to the hotel after lunch and found them returning from Belleville. Jennifer was very sexy, she's a fine lady. She wished me good luck in the work ahead!

At Belleville revisited the cube I created the night before. Everything seemed right. It's a mess I can't find Jon's phone number since I need to review some points with him.

Well, I'll have to do that tomorrow morning.

Jose is almost finished with his work! That's fine. Commented him about the unease of Johana and Jennifer because of me not being at Belleville.

There are some undertones to this day events I would like to register: About the nature of people and their interactions.